My Police Friend

I go back and forth a lot because life is a cycle. In my junior years in secondary school, we have periods on Thursday evenings where we are assigned portions to weed, it was called “Labour”. In such days I do remember always being the first to finish up, one of such days after a Labour day, I had the misfortune of getting into trouble the next day which was a Friday and so was weeding two days back to back!

So that Friday as I weeded, the only thoughts in my head were to round up soon and join my mates. But a few passerby’s would stop over, look at me in action and ask if I were Asthmatic, that wasn’t the first time I heard the word. But I couldn’t comprehend why I was asked that question until the next day which was a visiting day and I suddenly couldn’t breathe!

Everyone was at a hall taking some lecture, I had to go outside to breathe, my chest hurt, I was wheezing and

“my scientific brain told me to take plenty of water since water had oxygen in it.”

Obviously, that had only the effect of filling my bladder. I made my way back to the dorms to rest afterall I wasn’t expecting my parents to come visiting that day as I knew the conditions at home for my dad had lost his job and mum was literally struggling to keep us in good schools. But as I lay in the dorm trying to feel better, a girl comes in to tell me that my mum sent me provisions through some parent so I was needed at the admin block.

I composed myself and went to receive my goodies, it was a big bag (Ghana must go bag) filled with food items. I received them and began walking to the dorm, that’s all I remember!

I woke up the next day in the sickbay more concerned about where my bag of provisions were than where I was! The nurse then asked me a few questions wanting to know if any of my family members suffered from asthma. Well I do recall an aunt who did, then they send a message to my mother and when she does come a few weeks later they recommended drugs and an inhaler having taught her what she needed to know.

I have had asthmatic attacks off and on since then into my twenties. I wasn’t so worried by them, I just took good care of my health and I always avoid becoming cold.

It is said that asthma is not curable but I beg to disagree. I am cured. This will be a very controversial topic as it dwells on faith; So I was in a church service some 10 years ago and I was led to drop my inhaler in the offering basket and that was exactly what I did and I have not needed to buy another nor take a tablet for asthma since then!

Picture Source: Google

Enough education from me for one day, now let me tell you about the day I used asthma to threaten a corrupt police man. So I was driving in Lagos one day from a depressing hospital appointment. Some mean doctor who doesn’t have a clue of professionalism but I was recommended to go to him after being unsuccessful at other doctors in getting a diagnosis to infertility. As I drove, I didn’t notice the split second when the traffic light turned red. That’s how two “yellow fever” policemen blocked off my car at Ojuelegba under bridge in Lagos.

The man among them was even fighting the woman to claim me as his prize. He requested my driver’s license then got into my car and told me to begin driving. I asked to were, he was trying to put up his strict front, I wasn’t having any of such that day, I drove and parked in front of a pharmacy besides a bank, said I was asthmatic and needed an inhaler.

Picture Source: Mayo Clinic

He comes out of the car and I lock my car. I walk into the pharmacy ask for an inhaler and the price, I also ask for their POS which wasn’t available, so I go to the bank beside it to make a withdrawal while the policeman remained in the pharmacy. I returned and ask him how much he wanted from me, he called an exorbitant amount, I offered him a lower he said no. At that point I was already Wheezing loudly and people were gathering saying oga this woman is asthmatic oh, I also took a picture of him on my phone and he began being more concerned about what I wanted to do with his picture and dragging my phone. He wanted me to delete it, but I insisted on him returning my license first. Well I did delete a copy and he returned my license without me paying a bribe! He left there with his tail between his legs knowing I played a fast one on him but he was out numbered! Hahaha. Since that day I am the most patient at traffic lights.

Yeah it’s Friday, the month is flying by rather fast. It can’t be fast enough for me to hold my bundle of Joy in my arms.

Weirdly Yours,

Email: strongnigerianwoman@gmail.com

Instagram and Facebook handles:@mysurrogatetwins

Twitter:@mysurrogatetwin

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