Glass House

TORI 1

A maid wanted a salary raise. Madam wanted 3 reasons why she wanted a raise.

Maid: I can cook Better than you.

Madam: Who told you that?

Maid: Your husband told me.

Madam: OK, second reason?

Maid: I can iron better than you.

Madam: Who told you that?

Maid: Your husband told me.

Madam: OK, and the third reason?

Maid: I’m also better in bed than you.

“This time Madam was furious & was getting ready to break her head”

Madam: Did my husband say that?

Maid: No the driver told me I’m better in bed than you are.

Madam: Please lower your voice. I will increase your salary.

TORI 2

We Confessed To Each Other, Should I Be Worried?

So my wife of 4 years and I decided to confess to each other after things went a little sour in our marriage. She told me my friendly taunts that ‘babe you’re getting old oh, I am sure you aren’t getting toasters again’ led her to commit adultery. That she actually slept with her old crush who happens to be a lecturer in her former school last year. She told me she was going for a make-up job over the weekend last October, I even gave her money for transport and all. She still used my money to lodge herself and her married lecturer man friend in the hotel and got dicked. She said that was the first time and she regretted it. And that she stopped talking to the man right after the Bleep.

I also told her I had a side chick for about 6 months and had a couple of flings with other girls but quit all after my side chick said she got pregnant and wanted to start blackmailing me. And I later discovered the pregnancy was ‘audio’ she only just wanted money.

We both felt sorry and forgave each other, but my big question now is, if she dated someone right under my nose and I didn’t notice, and she perfectly did it plus she’s this church kinda wifey. Should I be worried? When she told me I almost fainted as I had always trusted her and could bet my life on it at any shrine she wouldn’t do it.

Anyway una know say I Dey as blunt as the the word BLUNT so see how I advise the “Hunku” for the second tori;

“As in see months of bleeping. If she can forgive you why are you having headache?
My advice to men, stop dishing out what you can’t take it. You didn’t make yourself a man nor will a woman come back to this earth with manly privileges. Na one life each person get irregarding of gender.”

Ok oh jokes apart, why eh Dey easy for people to give wetin then no fit receive? If we thought of other people a little like we thought about ourselves, this world would have been a better place!

Eh still get one TORI wey I see yesterday for instagram. Make I show you the tori and how I take reply am.

Na so Tori time take end today. Key phrase is LOVE YOUR NEIGHBORS AT LEAST HALF AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF! (But Na full bible be talk sha).

Keep Following my @surrogatetwins journey on instagram for ogbonge tori wey dey totori me.

Judith
Email: strongnigerianwoman@gmail.com
Facebook handle:@mysurrogatetwins, @astrongnigerianwoman
Twitter:@mysurrogatetwin

Though I don’t see myself setting up a Christmas tree this year. I don’t feel the joy!
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