Getting pregnant had always been a walk in the park for me. Staying pregnant and putting to bed was the different ball game.
So I conceive two with ease, and lost it with ease. The day I was scheduled to evacuate baby 2, I sat at the reception of the hospital I was to use waiting to be taken into the theatre, then in walk two young girls wanting an abortion and got rejected. At that point I wished I could change places with the pregnant one!
I was very emotional after the second pregnancy loss, that was the last time I genuinely cried about a pregnancy loss.
I register at the Teaching Hospital closest to us, it was in Irrua, Edo State.
The gynecologist that attended to me ended up using me as a test subject, asking a student doctor to press my breast(as I complained also of milk not drying up long after the pregnancy loss). Concerning giving a diagnosis to pregnancy losses, all he had to say was “two isn’t recurring yet, get pregnant again and come back to us!”
Well I did get pregnant again but didn’t go to them.
I went to Doctor Jude, a well spoke of gynecologist in the town I resided. He made sure to explain what recurring miscarriages was(bringing out big medical books to support his teachings) and that with each miscarriage, there was an chance that there would be another. That wasn’t good news.
I was teaching at the Private School when I got pregnant for 3, I remember being in the staff room one day discussing the cost of antenatal in the private clinic run by Doctor Jude. It was quite a large sum and all I could think was “after paying this, what if the carrier lost the pregnancy?(guess my mind had been so accustomed to pregnancy loss)”
While carrying baby 3, my grandma would spoil me with delicacies, sending mouth watering meals to my home weekly (as we resided in the same town). Mother also came to visit.
Then I began to lose my baby again!
We had a doctor’s appointment where the doctor tried to schedule me for an evacuation. I had become scared of evacuations and argued away the need. I asked him how locals cleaned the uterus after pregnancy losses before the introduction of modern day medicine.
Uncle Ex was hysterical. He called my relatives to report and convince me to accept treatment.
Well, I eventually succumb to having baby 3 removed. I was sedated during the process, so was asleep. Though a medical practitioner may describe my dreams while I was sedated as hallucinations, I describe them as seeing heaven.
I drifted asleep with the words of a Christian song on my mind and woke up still singing it. I dreamed of Jesus or the words Jesus being dissected in blood veins and marrows. Maybe it was fear but that’s what I did.
I woke up dizzy and was taken home by my husband.
When I continue this story, I need to tell you about the doctor on whose face I farted.
The words of ABBA is all I can think of as I enter the weekend.
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