Friends and family sometimes wonder why their supposedly rich relatives don’t assist them, I will tell you why today. It’s not because they don’t like you, or that their wife has given them “vegetable soup”(charm) to eat, it’s because you are a human toll gate!
Let me tell you about the recent toll gates I bypassed this month.
So I have a relative, an uncle who in all my years, I can’t remember him ever giving me a biscuit not to talk of pocket money despite the fact that my dad died while I was in University and mum died soon after.
Recently my husband and I needed his assistance, by way of standing in for my late dad in a meeting. I had barely gotten into the room(I came earlier and alone) when he accused me of coming empty handed and being too matured not to know the right things. I quickly made a transfer to his account. After the meeting, my husband and I returned to our base, he calls a few days later accusing me of not knowing his birthday, I quickly challenged him as he had never wished me an happy birthday in my entire existence. Well he still won the debate and my husband sent him double of the sum I earlier sent him as a birthday abi Na sowing seed.
Then he tells me, that his two daughters who are my cousins had just gained admission into the university, saying he will give them my number. He also mentioned that their acceptance fee had not been paid. I speak to one of the daughters via his phone which he passes to her without my consent and the young girl mentions it to me and I say “hold your father well, it’s his responsibility.”
A few days later, while in class (I am doing a second degree), my phone rings. I quickly receive the call. It was my cousin, his daughter. Note that I hadn’t a relationship with these young ladies before my number was handed to them. I round up the call and return to class. After class, I return the call.
My cousin, who is old enough to start University, didn’t understand the courtesy of asking about my family and well being despite it being my call card, but instantly started telling me how their admission could be lost if they didn’t pay acceptance fee early in their school. Their acceptance fee costs 50k each, then school fees will be the next they will rag for? Their dad has a government job and is high in rank at the moment, government job wey people, even me dey find!
It is worthy to note that, I have just resumed school full time meaning i have no salary i am expecting monthly nor have i worked in 5 years as i spent those years ttc. My fees are almost N300k, I have only paid 60k as acceptance fee and cost to purchase the application form. First two school fees installments are late, so I haven’t been given books. I am believing on a miracle to pay them before the Christmas break.
I didn’t spare words in lecturing my cousin to desist from practicing traits that will make people avoid her, that she isn’t too young to have sense.
There is really nothing wrong in requesting help from friends and family, but make sure you are actually really friends with them! For instance now, can she call herself my friend? Having spoken to me barely twice this whole year and both instances were to tell me about her financial needs?
I called my Uncle, her father after dropping the call. I confided in him my personal and financial challenges and apologized for my inability to help at this time, expecting him to understand.
For where! Uncle tell me say, the girls issue is a small one, that I can just send 3k each to their accounts(wtf? I need those 3k donations myself!). Oh I forgot to tell you that he sent their account numbers to me days earlier.
I was mad at him, told him how his lack of understanding was stressful to me. Only on ending the call did I remember that he actually never thought to give me a dime all the years I have known him!
I was barely getting over uncle’s drama then another cousin drama came in.
So I have a cousin, younger one who lost his sibling. I have been trying to call since it happened but his number has been unavailable. A few days ago, I decided to try the number again. Luckily it went through. He was surprised I called. Actually I don’t call much because every call with him in the past has ended up with him “ragging” me. I understand he isn’t financially buoyant etc, but neither am I!
Say I dey stay Lagos and dey package no mean say I get kobo for my account, but as I dey respect myself reach, I will rather soak garri than beg.
So cousin and I speak, and he ends up telling me how he hasn’t received any stipends in his new posting. To that I say nothing really. We end the call and I thought bro had matured, only to see a few missed calls on my phone yesterday and a text asking me to please send credit that he wants to contact his wife urgently.
If I had some money, I probably would have sent but as I stated earlier, I broke gan.
To go to school Na humble I Dey humble beg hubby for him to book an OPay ride on his account for two weeks now.
OPay is a bike hailing service. And as per data, a darling friend called Kenny gifted me 1k last week, and I try to also maximize night hours to do my online work when hubby would be home and so would his WiFi. Hahaha.
Up till now, his(cousin) calls keep coming in as missed calls(my phone is on silent mode intentionally) and I wonder to myself why I didn’t use the call time he used to call or text me to call or text the wife who is supposedly the reason why he needs the call card from me.
As We begin this week, I believe that the Good Lord shall supply all our needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus.
Hope you watched my surrogacy guest video? If you missed it, it’s on A Strong Nigerian Woman on YouTube.
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