Why isn’t there something like this in Nigeria? Like somewhere a victim can go for safety for maybe a few days till she decides her next line of action?
The first time I was a victim of domestic violence, I didn’t see the gravity of the offense against me, I quickly accepted the apology and the blame that I deserved the hot slap that has caused me partial earring loss even after more than 4years later for replying my husband with a question asking why he hadn’t picked his own copy of the key when he was upset at having to wait for me to bring the key of the apartment.
The next time was more grievous and nobody told me to run out of the house. But as I ran, I was at loss of where to go to. I called a few church members living close by but they had seemingly genuine reasons why I couldn’t come to their house that night(one was that his wife was not around), so I called more friends and was already at my wits end standing at a bus stop at 10pm when my husband calls me back begging. I believed he was sorry, moreover I really had no idea where to go. So I go back home.
The next time I needed to leave again for a similar reason, I call a few friends. Most said to me, “you shouldn’t leave your husband’s house” “woman no Dey commot for house, it’s an abomination” eventually I get a friend who houses me without pressuring me to leave, her husband was out of town, I really didn’t know her well at the time and was quite surprised she housed me(well, I hadn’t met her offline yet when I volunteered and donated blood to her relative when she put up the Whatsapp status).
The next time it happened AGAIN, after many friends gave me an excuse(later one tells me that she doesn’t want when husband and wife reconcile they will use her to settle scores. Same thing an ex friend said when she had fore knowledge that Uncle Ex was making absconding moves), one puts me up and kept on telling me everyday to go home that husbands are scarce.
Oh forget family, most of them are like “it’s your husband” or “what will people say, your second marriage? Please you people should manage yourselves” etc.
So back to my point, When I am financially endowed, I intend to carry out this project. How can we say we are fighting against something when there really isn’t a safe heaven for abused women to run for safety even if it is a few days till they arrange them selves?
I am no feminist, just a regular lady offering hope and support to others by not keeping quiet.